More talk.

You know, I think  it's good to write things down. No matter how silly or unbelievably mad they may seem.. It's good to have them recorded, so later you can go back and expand on that thought, maybe shed some new light to it. Or wonder what in the hell you were on that day and vow never to take it again.
I know I haven't been actually composing things lately. Short stories, or poems. Sorry about that, but my muse was  over used. Really it just up and walked out of my life for a time. But I'm sure it will be back, maybe in short bursts or maybe to stay for a time. I'm not sure yet. But for now I will share my thought trains, because as you have probably come to learn they are a bit wacky, but nice to ponder.
So here is a bit more to chew:

I know I have been playing around with religious subjects lately, putting strange spins on them, maybe insulting a few of you viewers, and I am sorry if so. But I'm not asking you to believe any of it, simply telling you what's in my head and giving you the allowance to mull it over, see how it tastes. So don't take this to heart, or do. I don't really care.
"God" is not real. Not in the sense I grew up learning any way. I believe in higher power. Because you yourself are a living breathing miracle. Ask any doctor or scientist. Child creation and birth is in so many ways, miraculous. And is you're old enough to be reading this then you should be able to grasp what I'm saying here. And if you're not getting it, then just stop while you're ahead because I don't explain much and my thoughts only get wackier from here.
So yes, I believe there has got to be something somewhere that is more than we can comprehend. But I'm not calling it God. No. For a long time I had a big giant problem with "God". I was so mad at him for many reasons, some personal, and some as public as the innocence of the Sandy Hook students. So yeah, I had a problem.
But this higher power is something I don't hold a grudge against, since I don't define it as a human, I have no knowledge of its emotional capability. For now I'm just going to say the higher power is around to make miracles, create beauty, and give people the warm fuzzies when they are doing something good or lovely. Kind of like a conscience, but for the whole earth and everything in it, instead of inside each individual being. Get it?

-B

More soul talk..

The sooner we figure out who we are, the sooner we will be at peace with ourselves. You are a soul. Souls have minds. You have a body. Bodies have brains. For your body to survive it needs health and nutrition. For you to survive, you- a soul, you need love and learning. So for each to survive you need health, nutrition, love, and learning. four things. But it's not that simple, expand on each. All four of those categories have many sub categories, and those sub categories have their own sub categories.
Get it?
You're a soul.
Clothes to a body is skin to a Soul. That's how it works. That simple. Now I won't tell you what to believe, but here is how I see it:
You're soul has had many bodies, and many not-bodies. Or At least I have. And I haven't quite figured out how to put it into words, how I know that my soul is an existence, and in my existence I have had many lives and will continue to have them. But when I figure out the words I will let you know. And I feel as though I have explained  this before, in another life of my existence. But I can't be sure, after all it is just a feeling. And I might be completely looney and this might all be wrong. But it might not be as well. So I am giving my instincts the benefit of a doubt, and telling you that I know this. Because really all that knowing is, is what is in your mind. Your mind inside of your brain. And these thoughts are inside mine. So I am a soul with a body. Like you, and everyone else.

-B

Don't ever underestimate the power of words.
With out a moments notice, some one can cause your heart to fall to your toes.
And your toes are certainly not where your heart should be.
My advice?
Don't let anyone hold your heart. Because their words will put it in your toes. Every time.


-B

Toes

Your heart doesn't belong in your toes.

So I'm standing here wondering what i can do, to give it someplace to go.

And my thoughts don't belong on the floor, 

But they  lie here in front of me where I can see them, but I would rather they walk out the door. 

A voice belongs in the air, 

where it can float and drift and be heard,

Yet how can I talk when the words say wouldn't be heard with care? 

And these hand just don't know where to go,

 so they pull at my hair and hit my pillows, because my fingers plus yours are all I know. 

-B

The moon

I thought the night was warm

And the air too 

Because the sun was hot

And the moon too

I think the moon is hot. 

Just because it glows.

And I could look it up. 

But what's the trouble in ruining an imagination? 

Exactly. So don't correct me if I'm wrong. 

Because my moon is a burning one. 

That's why it glows. 

And really I just keep writing this nonsense to hold back an extreme string of profanities wanting to fight back against the never fair never ending process we are going through. 

Life. 

I like to see life in everything. 

That's the way I see God. 

God is everything around me. In every pebble, grain, mountain, sea. 

My God is at least.

And I'm not asking you to believe, or even consider my idea of God. 

Because its my mind.

And it would be completely absurd to force it on you. 

Force. 

I feel like forcing anything or anyone in any way is a crime. 

You can only set a strong example and wish the best for them. 

Because no matter how successful your force seems to have turned out..

It is always a different story on the inside. 

In your mind. And your heart. 

And the forcer has accomplished nothing truly. 

Except the destruction of your relationship. 

And who's loss is it now. 

But I really do think the moon is burning. 

And I wouldn't quite mind If it burned out. 

And took me with it. 

Soul

I think I have a soul.
Sometimes I question it. What's the purpose of my soul?
Of any?
Is it to bond with a "soul-mate"? If so, how does your soul-shell find your soul's mate and it's accompanying body. And why are some souls so lucky as to have their mate placed so close in life. The same state, town, school, street.
"High school sweethearts".
Or is it just that those are the lazy souls that have given up from the very beginning. And are settling.
But settled souls seem  perfectly happy to me. So maybe thats not it.
Maybe a soul has multiple bonds. So many that there is indeed a good chance that you  will find at least one, or maybe two, more.
And what of divorce?
Do soul's bonds break? Maybe the soul just settled first. Then opened it's eyes got off it's laztas s and decided to search again for one of the "soul-mates".
But what of our minds? Your mind is of your body, isn't it? Or maybe  just the brain is of the body, and mind is of the soul. And that is where the two meet.
I think that's it.
But how come my mind won't show my brain all that it has experienced before being tied to this soul-shell? Did it even experience anything before? Is it choosing to keep all that can be known from my brain? Is my mind secretive and selfish..
Or is it that there wasn't anything before? And my sould was made as was my body. And together we have spent all the time that either has ever experienced.
And if so, that there was no before, is there also not an after? I will fade out in mind as I die in brain. And there will be nothing infinite of the sort? And if there is not a before, followed by no after, what is in between?  Is a soul a real thing? This is my brain begging my mind to elaborate for me. But maybe my brain and my mind are just the same thing.
But maybe this is my soul, my mind, fooling my brain and body. So that I don't guess all of eternity's secrets.
But maybe there are none to guess anyway.


-B

This One is for You.

The world is full of good people,
Yet the good are not always the best,
With rocky pasts, always coming in lasts,
Some more tortured than the rest.

My town is full of good people,
Carbon copied, perfect, all the same,
All dreams aside, their desires they hide,
To stray is to receive the black sheep blame.

You my friend, are good people,
Always made it on your own,
Troubled child, forever wild,
But in loneliness you're not alone.

-B